Word Vomit

Near conclusion of experiments in human rewilding. Okay, okay, this always happens. Posit one thing, opposite feelings come up, then the fun happens: synthesis. I’m okay with what I wrote above, except for one element: it’s too meek. There’s another thing that has to be contended with here, the process of individuation, the recognition of unique elements that came out of this whole thing I’ve been going through. Nearing the end, nearing the end!

[reflections on aspects mostly individual to myself] Having focused a lot on study in younger years has led to a different way of looking at shit than would have happened had i stayed with my mom, or then my dad, or even just STAYED anywhere. Childhood brain took so much in that the cracking open was a more than terrifying process, so many elements to contend with, so many experiences, many of them great some traumatic and terrible. That wide array of experiences plus early religious education and the genetics of my family (history of psychological disorders that tend to combine with highly empathic qualities) leads to being able to pick up on a lot of “vibes” around me, whole “discernment of spirits” thing mu childhood church said i had. Earlier that tendency led me to an overwhelming self-destructiveness, now it feels like it’s been taken control of a little, or maybe best to put it that it’s not blocked anymore so is expressing itself in an… undammed way. Not causing internal ecological damage, and therefore external social damage — as much at least.

Quote from book I’m reading, Thresholds of Initiation:

“…in the 1920s the first serious and entirely inevitable appearance in this century of a healthy new movement took place in the arts, in anthropology, in psychology, in philosophy, and above all in education, which insisted upon looking at life without 19th-century illusions. Thanks to this movement, 20th-century man could correct the hubris of Nietzsche’s time; accepting his weakness in humility, he could puncture the inflation of that period which had allowed itself to believe in the possibility of creating supermen.”

Unsure if I agree, but how i agree and disagree main topic of thought atm. Thoughts to come, first another quote:

“At first [fascist] movements appeared to offer on the political level precisely the healing elements needed to cure the sickness of the times. Law and Order, Discipline, and Enthusiasm, led by groups of young men in arms — was this not like the Kouretes of old [see “Hymn of Kouretes”], the ‘shielded nurturers’ who ‘with noise of beating feet’ guarded the holy child who should become the leader of the band, the Kouros as Fuhrer, the weak who had become strong? The archetype of initiation seemed convincing to many educated and responsible people at the time of the early Hitlerism of Germany, and they therefore did nothing to alter the development of the events which eventually led to the catastrophe. “The young people will know what to do,” they said. Then, much later, these highly cultivated people, along with all the sentimentalists who had longed for a revival of the primitive forms of life, asked, “What went wrong?””

So here’s the thing. Because of the moral implications of WWII and the Nazis especially, people don’t honestly contend with it. But it seems clear from my readings, and the widespread support for Nazism even among the most highly educated strata of society, that the Nazi doctrines touched on something real, something missing from modern life, something people really did need and weren’t getting. Of course, I’m pretty open about my opposition to fascism and states and social control. I’m not suggesting that we revive nazism — that’s kind of what i mean about this being such a difficult topic, it’s layered with so many negative implications, BUT IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR THIS POST-WWII WORLD. But clearly modern man needs a palliative for his boredom, a sense of mission, some outlet for aggression, some affirmation of the darker sides of life that he knows is within himself and that he sees in other people but is forced to deny and ignore, to pretend doesn’t exist at least in the presence of The Gaze of polite society. That stuff is being … dammed up  and if things stay that way it will express itself in other ways, again.

But if we can all agree that the Nazis were a sick expression of these needs, and not a proper integration of these instincts into man and his society, than what is there to do? That’s what Idols is supposed to be about. The idea is that on an individual level humans need to go through a process of “rebirth,” of initiation, to suffer the “sound of beating feet” so that they can become fully conscious and contend with full aspects of themselves. Primitive coming of age rituals, lack of such rituals in modern life leading to extended childhood, etc etc etc written all this before. But on a cultuarl level? How can we culturally “come into being.”? It seems to me that collapse, or some sort of disaster, is precisely the cultural equivalent of the “sound of beating feet.” And such a thing would be more anarchistic than fascistic, because the very nature of collapse means the methods by which man could control other men would be dissolving: this would leave a WILD space for individuals to put the pieces back together themselves, to create a fully matured culture. Close to what Stirner was saying in “ego and its own”: history parallels psychological development: material infancy, ideological adolescence, egoist adulthood.

And this is where I think the mythology of the superman is so important. Because what would a fully mature human look like to an adolescent culture? He may be human, but to them he looks superhuman. Like what my grandfather looked like to me when i was younger. By touching that psychological aspect with the mythology, a sort of urge toward self-creation comes forward — suddenly man realizes that he could be more, even if it’s only a process of awakening what’s already within, a cracking open and recomposition of his basic elements. Each person realizes their uniqueness and BY THAT VERY MEANS realizes how they belong together. Otherwise their belongingness is not one of actual mutuality, but co-dependence, a prolongation of the child’s instinctive attachment to the mother, necessary in his helpless phase but when he is brought out of his helplessness… …. …

So, if this is the case, by recognizing where I am unique and have special things to offer, as a corollary i recognize where I am plain, and where I lack, where others fill in the gaps. A group of such people have much greater tools for cooperation among each other. They know themselves so can see how they can fit together, however jankily. A healthy elect to prepare for the cultural coming of age: which MUST mean “the sound of beating feet.” The question is whether that sound will keep the world we have, with all its instruments of control, and therefore result in a new fascism; or whether it will recognize the necessity of collapse, with its dissolution of instruments of control, and therefore result in … superhumans, not superstates.

There’s a whole swath of literature too on the healthy psychologies that result in times of disaster… e.g., 1961 Fritz, “Why do large-scale disasters produce such mentally healthy conditions.” Also in “Tribe” by Junger:

“Rampage killings dropped significantly during WWII, then rose again in the 1980s and have been rising ever since.”

“The last time the US experienced that kind of unity was — briefly — after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11. There were no rampage shootings for the next two years. The effect was particularly pronounced in NYC, where rates of violent crime, suicide, and psychiatric disturbance dropped immediately. In many countries antisocial behavior is known to decline during wartime. NY’s suicide rate dropped by around 20 percent in the six months following the attacks, the murder rate dropped by 40 percent, and pharmacists saw no increase in the number of first-time patients filling prescriptions for anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication. Furthermore, veterans who were being treated for PTSD at the VA experienced a significant DROP in their symptoms in the months after the sept 11 attacks.”

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